Skip to main content

Embarrassed

So like a day or two ago (at the time this is posted probably already weeks ago) I confessed to a girl I was in love with. LMAO. That was like the first time in my 21 year lifetime I confessed to someone about my feelings towards them. God d*mn that whole day I couldn't sleep, eat, and do my stuff.

    I wasn't expecting her response cuz we haven't talked in years, by talk I mean chatting online SMH and yea so she replied the day after I sent my message. Sh*t. Once again I couldn't use my brain at all. I didn't want to read it instantly but also I was curious on what she answered to my message with so I just kept the notification up top, right sliding all the other non important notifications (cuz only this one that's important for me at that time LOL). But for real I didn't open the message until the next day. What a coward I am. It was in the morning when I opened it, and bam my brain stopped functioning for the second or third or fourth IDK I stopped counting. Like a lightning struck my head. I read it patiently making sure I get the point cuz if I answer it and it sounds like I'm only playing then IDK where am I going to put my face on, probably just gonna cover it wherever I go. I replied and I fell asleep for like two or three hours. Bruh. She didn't answer it instantly too cuz I know she's busy as hell while me uhm let's just say I have enough time to think of the words I was about to say to her and now I'm writing this on my journal .-.

    I started to contemplate again, what is love? Affection, something magical you can't see but you can feel it surrounding you when you are in love, but IDK I'm not a philosopher. I'm glad I confessed to her finally. Makes my life easier to walk now cuz I have been holding on to that feeling for years nearly a decade if in three more years I would still be a coward. That's how long I was holding on to that.

    Moral of the story? No, there's nothing you can gain from this. But I gotta tell you, sometimes courage isn't enough to do a certain thing, instead it takes stupidity to do the job and only then you can move on with life. Be stupid I mean, have courage but also save your stupidity adrenaline for situations like this cuz you'll never know when you are going to need it.

Adios!

Labels

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Music, Joy, Vibe!

For the past few months I've been enjoying to listen to some old songs I used to listen to when I was younger such as hip hop, emo, pop and etc. Human is unique. We can lift up our mood by listening to a certain sound and it can help us focus on things that we are working on. Whether you just had a long day, or a very adventurous day, you always want to pop a song or just sing it yourself without the song playing. Alone, or with someone you know, together blasting the feeling out.      For me, the kind of music that I really like is hip hop, especially rap song. I don't know why but rap songs can always keep me sane during work or school hours. It's probably because I also try to imitate the gesture of the MC make when they are performing on stage. There are Eminem, 2Pac, Ice Cube, Kendrick Lamar, Rich Brian, Denzel Curry, Mac Miller, Logic, Joyner Lucas and J. Cole. Each has their own different technique and style. It's unique. I can never get tired of listening to the...
Post a Comment
Read more

a Sense of Belonging

Why do people care less to something that's not their own? Something that's not in their possession? Something strange, something unfamiliar to them? Most of the time, it's because they don't have a sense of belonging . No attachment whatsoever. A sense that makes you have some kind of a bond. If it's not theirs, why would they care in the first place? Why would YOU want to take care of something that you've never seen before? Just imagine that. Except, of course, you have a long history (or short) with the thing and your mind is telling you not to ignore if something ever goes wrong. Now you can stop your wondering on why do public facilities look or feel terrible most of the time. At least in my country/city. Mostly, but not all. Poor soul.      Now, if somebody were to be treating someone else's car or trash bin "unintentionally" like how the owner wanted, the owner would go rage mode. Berserk. People would cut ties even among families just beca...
Post a Comment
Read more

Parting Apart

I want to say I'm sorry, but I can't. Maybe I'm a hopeless romantic guy. I really love her, so much. With all my heart. Every night, it's a battleground in my head. Whether to forgive myself and just move on, or there are other layers that I have not yet discovered. I really want her to come back. Maybe it's true, love does not have to have . I want her to shine. She's a diamond of her own league. She's cute. She's my smile. She's everything for me. Now I'm getting emotional ahaha.      My sense of romance isn't getting any better as the day goes by. Practice ? That's probably the word. I need to do it. It's just, I couldn't understand her. I mean, I do have a sister. I should understand her a little bit; woman's world. Maybe much. But, like people say, everyone is unique. She's special.      I hope that she's smiling everyday; I know she's a tough one. She's an independent woman. Knowing that everything's...
Post a Comment
Read more