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Embarrassed

So like a day or two ago (at the time this is posted probably already weeks ago) I confessed to a girl I was in love with. LMAO. That was like the first time in my 21 year lifetime I confessed to someone about my feelings towards them. God d*mn that whole day I couldn't sleep, eat, and do my stuff.

    I wasn't expecting her response cuz we haven't talked in years, by talk I mean chatting online SMH and yea so she replied the day after I sent my message. Sh*t. Once again I couldn't use my brain at all. I didn't want to read it instantly but also I was curious on what she answered to my message with so I just kept the notification up top, right sliding all the other non important notifications (cuz only this one that's important for me at that time LOL). But for real I didn't open the message until the next day. What a coward I am. It was in the morning when I opened it, and bam my brain stopped functioning for the second or third or fourth IDK I stopped counting. Like a lightning struck my head. I read it patiently making sure I get the point cuz if I answer it and it sounds like I'm only playing then IDK where am I going to put my face on, probably just gonna cover it wherever I go. I replied and I fell asleep for like two or three hours. Bruh. She didn't answer it instantly too cuz I know she's busy as hell while me uhm let's just say I have enough time to think of the words I was about to say to her and now I'm writing this on my journal .-.

    I started to contemplate again, what is love? Affection, something magical you can't see but you can feel it surrounding you when you are in love, but IDK I'm not a philosopher. I'm glad I confessed to her finally. Makes my life easier to walk now cuz I have been holding on to that feeling for years nearly a decade if in three more years I would still be a coward. That's how long I was holding on to that.

    Moral of the story? No, there's nothing you can gain from this. But I gotta tell you, sometimes courage isn't enough to do a certain thing, instead it takes stupidity to do the job and only then you can move on with life. Be stupid I mean, have courage but also save your stupidity adrenaline for situations like this cuz you'll never know when you are going to need it.

Adios!

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