Thoughts of a Man Called Aim

Jendela dunia Begitulah orang berkata Apakah itu? Yap, betul. Itulah buku Buku menjadi pelarianku Di saat sepi, ramai; duka, riang Kondisi apapun, sepertinya cocok saja Tergantung dengan tema dan topik, lagipula Seperti jendela, memang benar Ia dapat membawamu pergi Jauh, jauh sekali Pergi ke suatu tempat Hilang Tak akan ditemukan Hanya aku yang dapat menemukanku Aku seorang Buku-buku dikumpulkan Di sebuah muara Muara ilmu yang dalam dan luas Per-pus-ta-ka-an Tentu saja bukan hanya aku seorang Yang haus akan ilmu Sehingga, mereka pergi merantau Ke tempat sakral itu Namun, tidak semua menghargai Menghargai tempat sakral itu Ada yang berbisik, berbincang Bahkan, bersenda gurau! Jelas tertulis di dinding Di banyak sudut dinding "Tidak boleh berisik", "Harap tenang" Kesal aku. Sangat kesal. -Surabaya, 26092023.

Hari ini, di McD Kupesan Ice Cone dan McFlurry Vanilla dan kopyor Rasa baru sepertinya Kududuk di pojok Pastinya dengan colokan Agar cocok Namun, tanpa password Wi-Fi Hari ini, tak seperti biasa Karena, HPku rusak Satu-satunya alasanku Ada di sini, di McD Teller memintaku untuk Menunggu selama satu jam penuh 10.15 hingga 11.15 Itu artinya, satu jam penuh! Kulihat ke arah kanan Terlihat kasir sedang sibuk Sebetulnya, ini belum waktunya makan siang Melainkan, waktunya sarapan! Walaupun, sebetulnya, sudah lewat juga Terlewat jauh malah! Dari yang kulihat, Hampir semua yang datang Memesan satu hal yang serupa Satu hal yang kekal Sepanjang masa Dessert ! Aiskrim kalau kata orang Malay Mengingat aiskrim, aku rindu Rindu dengan rasa roti es ala Singapura Rasa roti itu, sangat sederhana Sederhana, namun tersimpan banyak cerita Akan aku jelaskan! Roti yang digunakan adalah Roti tawar Dilipatlah roti menjadi dua lapisan Di antara kedua lapisan itu, Disisipkanlah sebuah cita rasa Yang mirip deng...

Often times we do things because we want to prove to everyone that we can do what we've always wanted. That's just wrong in my book and that's something I've been avoiding in a  while. You should be do things because you want to do it. Screw anybody. Their opinions don't matter (the negative ones). Negative opinion and critics are different.      This can also be determined by your ideals and values . Maybe you like to impress people; maybe you don't. Maybe you don't want to show your true self; maybe you do.  Seeing people around me, well, not most people, they usually want to have a high social credits. Or maybe their self esteem cuz they are lacking it. We want to be seen as  a helpful person or of value to the society. Which is great on its own. But, when you do it to make people "accept" you, that's a different story. Why bother? Adios!

I want to say I'm sorry, but I can't. Maybe I'm a hopeless romantic guy. I really love her, so much. With all my heart. Every night, it's a battleground in my head. Whether to forgive myself and just move on, or there are other layers that I have not yet discovered. I really want her to come back. Maybe it's true, love does not have to have . I want her to shine. She's a diamond of her own league. She's cute. She's my smile. She's everything for me. Now I'm getting emotional ahaha.      My sense of romance isn't getting any better as the day goes by. Practice ? That's probably the word. I need to do it. It's just, I couldn't understand her. I mean, I do have a sister. I should understand her a little bit; woman's world. Maybe much. But, like people say, everyone is unique. She's special.      I hope that she's smiling everyday; I know she's a tough one. She's an independent woman. Knowing that everything's...

I've always thought that I'm an ambivert.      This is not without a reason. My mother used to tell me that I was a joyful kid; but, that only lasted till elementary school. She noticed something different from me then. Right now, in my 20s, I don't even feel like going out. I feel more alive when I watch movies, writing things down, read some books that I never got to finish, play games because it's sometimes therapeutic; just mindlessly spend the hours and days in front of my PC or contemplating life while laying down in my bed.      The first time I came across the word ambivert was during my early years of college. Way back before that, I consider myself an introvert. This is because once I'm home or my school/class ends, I just want to go home and have some peace in my room. Vibe to my music alone, singing and dancing just for the h*ll of it. Back in high school, I barely ever go to a party or anything related to it since there were so many invitation...

During my puberty , I could barely see any difference in terms of physical changes; comparing to my friends, especially girls. I'm friends with my junior high school till senior high school girl friends pretty much every one of them so I would  always meet them at a certain event or just when hanging around. One of the biggest changes that I notice is that their hip would look more structured. Like when they walk, their hips weren't used to be that "left-right-left-right" type of moving. They used to looked straight as in no curve whatsoever on the left and right side. Years after, I understand that those were probably vaginal bones since, well, they are women, they're gonna give birth so they surely will develop those bones. Or they have, but just not that developed. IDK. Breast, well, I can't really say much on this; but during elementary school, some of my friends have already grown their things and that's probably the first time ever I asked to my par...

Come to think of it, my family had a turtle . The story is quite funny. The first time I met him was when me and my family visited our grandparents from my father in the city. We visit our grandparents regularly every week and usually on the weekends. One day, my grandmother walked past the living room and went outside while holding some food. I don't remember what food it was but it was probably fruit. She was around 70 years old so she could only eat soft and not too sweet food. It was around 4 p.m. so the rest of the family was watching shows on TV in the living room. While we were watching, I was bored of the show, I wanted to check my grandmother and so I walked outside. My grandmother was there, throwing the food she brought earlier while also munching on some. At that time, I was like, "Grandma, why are u throwing the food?! You are wasting it!" and my grandma replied, "Come here, I'll show you something. Sit beside me here." We waited for a while, an...