Thoughts of a Man Called Aim

I want to build a library or a coworking space that can fulfill the needs of many people that want to study or work but can't because there are not that many places open for 24 hours, and free, to top that off. Feel me as a student; can't be having to spend additional expenses for a drink (?) or a snack (?) that is usually unnecessary. Not counting the sugar and other health aspects that may come together with that. Although, of course, you can always exercise more to get rid of those substances and it's good for your body to workout more often. You are going to reap the sedentary life that you sow today if you don't.      It would be a huge achievement for me and I think that's what people call as virtue ? This could even be my biggest achievement I can imagine yet. The dream comes from my habit of working something in a quiet, chilly, and comfortable place. I can't find it in most of the coffee shops in my area. I could find them in coworking space! And publi...

Why do people care less to something that's not their own? Something that's not in their possession? Something strange, something unfamiliar to them? Most of the time, it's because they don't have a sense of belonging . No attachment whatsoever. A sense that makes you have some kind of a bond. If it's not theirs, why would they care in the first place? Why would YOU want to take care of something that you've never seen before? Just imagine that. Except, of course, you have a long history (or short) with the thing and your mind is telling you not to ignore if something ever goes wrong. Now you can stop your wondering on why do public facilities look or feel terrible most of the time. At least in my country/city. Mostly, but not all. Poor soul.      Now, if somebody were to be treating someone else's car or trash bin "unintentionally" like how the owner wanted, the owner would go rage mode. Berserk. People would cut ties even among families just beca...

Baik, terima kasih kepada panitia arak-arakan bulan Mei atas kesempatan yang telah diberikan.      Yang terhormat, ibu Ir. Shinfi Wazna Auvaria, S.T, M.T selaku Ketua Program Studi Teknik Lingkungan UINSA, ibu Ir. Sulistiya Nengse, M.T selaku Sekretaris Program Studi Teknik Lingkungan UINSA dan Pembina Himpunan Mahasiswa Teknik Lingkungan UINSA, saudara Fakarrudin Rafi, S.T (amin), menyusul, selaku Ketua Himpunan Mahasiswa Teknik Lingkungan UINSA, saudara Ferdika Naufal, S.T, menyusul juga, dan rekan-rekan Env beserta keluarga kita semua.      Sebetulnya, cukup sulit untuk meresumekan atau menyimpulkan pengalaman selama saya berkuliah di kampus kita tercinta, UINSA SBY.      Teknik Lingkungan. Jurusan impian saya sedari kelas dua SMA. Timbulnya keinginan tersebut berawal dari keinginan mulia masa muda. Yaitu, daerah tempat di mana saya tinggal, di Tangerang, yang kalau malamnya hujan lebat, pasti besoknya bolos sekolah. Bukan karena nakal. Ya...

Jendela dunia Begitulah orang berkata Apakah itu? Yap, betul. Itulah buku Buku menjadi pelarianku Di saat sepi, ramai; duka, riang Kondisi apapun, sepertinya cocok saja Tergantung dengan tema dan topik, lagipula Seperti jendela, memang benar Ia dapat membawamu pergi Jauh, jauh sekali Pergi ke suatu tempat Hilang Tak akan ditemukan Hanya aku yang dapat menemukanku Aku seorang Buku-buku dikumpulkan Di sebuah muara Muara ilmu yang dalam dan luas Per-pus-ta-ka-an Tentu saja bukan hanya aku seorang Yang haus akan ilmu Sehingga, mereka pergi merantau Ke tempat sakral itu Namun, tidak semua menghargai Menghargai tempat sakral itu Ada yang berbisik, berbincang Bahkan, bersenda gurau! Jelas tertulis di dinding Di banyak sudut dinding "Tidak boleh berisik", "Harap tenang" Kesal aku. Sangat kesal. -Surabaya, 26092023.

Hari ini, di McD Kupesan Ice Cone dan McFlurry Vanilla dan kopyor Rasa baru sepertinya Kududuk di pojok Pastinya dengan colokan Agar cocok Namun, tanpa password Wi-Fi Hari ini, tak seperti biasa Karena, HPku rusak Satu-satunya alasanku Ada di sini, di McD Teller memintaku untuk Menunggu selama satu jam penuh 10.15 hingga 11.15 Itu artinya, satu jam penuh! Kulihat ke arah kanan Terlihat kasir sedang sibuk Sebetulnya, ini belum waktunya makan siang Melainkan, waktunya sarapan! Walaupun, sebetulnya, sudah lewat juga Terlewat jauh malah! Dari yang kulihat, Hampir semua yang datang Memesan satu hal yang serupa Satu hal yang kekal Sepanjang masa Dessert ! Aiskrim kalau kata orang Malay Mengingat aiskrim, aku rindu Rindu dengan rasa roti es ala Singapura Rasa roti itu, sangat sederhana Sederhana, namun tersimpan banyak cerita Akan aku jelaskan! Roti yang digunakan adalah Roti tawar Dilipatlah roti menjadi dua lapisan Di antara kedua lapisan itu, Disisipkanlah sebuah cita rasa Yang mirip deng...

Often times we do things because we want to prove to everyone that we can do what we've always wanted. That's just wrong in my book and that's something I've been avoiding in a  while. You should be do things because you want to do it. Screw anybody. Their opinions don't matter (the negative ones). Negative opinion and critics are different.      This can also be determined by your ideals and values . Maybe you like to impress people; maybe you don't. Maybe you don't want to show your true self; maybe you do.  Seeing people around me, well, not most people, they usually want to have a high social credits. Or maybe their self esteem cuz they are lacking it. We want to be seen as  a helpful person or of value to the society. Which is great on its own. But, when you do it to make people "accept" you, that's a different story. Why bother? Adios!

I want to say I'm sorry, but I can't. Maybe I'm a hopeless romantic guy. I really love her, so much. With all my heart. Every night, it's a battleground in my head. Whether to forgive myself and just move on, or there are other layers that I have not yet discovered. I really want her to come back. Maybe it's true, love does not have to have . I want her to shine. She's a diamond of her own league. She's cute. She's my smile. She's everything for me. Now I'm getting emotional ahaha.      My sense of romance isn't getting any better as the day goes by. Practice ? That's probably the word. I need to do it. It's just, I couldn't understand her. I mean, I do have a sister. I should understand her a little bit; woman's world. Maybe much. But, like people say, everyone is unique. She's special.      I hope that she's smiling everyday; I know she's a tough one. She's an independent woman. Knowing that everything's...

I've always thought that I'm an ambivert.      This is not without a reason. My mother used to tell me that I was a joyful kid; but, that only lasted till elementary school. She noticed something different from me then. Right now, in my 20s, I don't even feel like going out. I feel more alive when I watch movies, writing things down, read some books that I never got to finish, play games because it's sometimes therapeutic; just mindlessly spend the hours and days in front of my PC or contemplating life while laying down in my bed.      The first time I came across the word ambivert was during my early years of college. Way back before that, I consider myself an introvert. This is because once I'm home or my school/class ends, I just want to go home and have some peace in my room. Vibe to my music alone, singing and dancing just for the h*ll of it. Back in high school, I barely ever go to a party or anything related to it since there were so many invitation...

During my puberty , I could barely see any difference in terms of physical changes; comparing to my friends, especially girls. I'm friends with my junior high school till senior high school girl friends pretty much every one of them so I would  always meet them at a certain event or just when hanging around. One of the biggest changes that I notice is that their hip would look more structured. Like when they walk, their hips weren't used to be that "left-right-left-right" type of moving. They used to looked straight as in no curve whatsoever on the left and right side. Years after, I understand that those were probably vaginal bones since, well, they are women, they're gonna give birth so they surely will develop those bones. Or they have, but just not that developed. IDK. Breast, well, I can't really say much on this; but during elementary school, some of my friends have already grown their things and that's probably the first time ever I asked to my par...

Come to think of it, my family had a turtle . The story is quite funny. The first time I met him was when me and my family visited our grandparents from my father in the city. We visit our grandparents regularly every week and usually on the weekends. One day, my grandmother walked past the living room and went outside while holding some food. I don't remember what food it was but it was probably fruit. She was around 70 years old so she could only eat soft and not too sweet food. It was around 4 p.m. so the rest of the family was watching shows on TV in the living room. While we were watching, I was bored of the show, I wanted to check my grandmother and so I walked outside. My grandmother was there, throwing the food she brought earlier while also munching on some. At that time, I was like, "Grandma, why are u throwing the food?! You are wasting it!" and my grandma replied, "Come here, I'll show you something. Sit beside me here." We waited for a while, an...

One thing I've noticed and learned throughout the year I was absence from blogging/writing journal is that things tend to fall in terms of joyfulness and you will be blinded by things that are catching your eyes more than the mundane, repetitive things. Just pure plain, different from what you thought the first time you discovered it which you probably felt like "Oh! How come I just found out about this??? I would be doing this for my entire life!!!" kind of words.      Excitement. Novelty of things that are completely new. They often shine right off the bat but when you don't really have or set a goal/achieving something out of it you will be doing it lesser, lesser, and lesser, up until the point you don't even want to see or hear the name of it. Especially if you are like me, who is easily bored with stuff that I just can't see where would I be going/what I can gain in a very short time. Similar feeling to learning or do subjects that you are told and for...

I've always been interested in playing drum , rapping and explore new places in the open forest. It was around early high school year when I found out my life calling. Well not necessarily a calling, but I just know that that is just what I want to do in my life.      For me, I take hobbies as something that I do when I'm in my free time. It could be anytime like when I'm waiting for a meeting, on my way to somewhere using public transportation etc. Reading for example is like a habit of me, I read anytime I want but I also schedule the time for when I am going to read in a day so I'm not going to call it as a hobby.      I found out about drumming when I was jamming through Muse musics. Holy d*mn, their music is sooo good. I was listening to Stockholm Syndrome and didn't know what a music can do to your heart. It's just the usual Muse music, they leave the best part near the end, not in the middle or even at the start of the song. If you would, you shoul...

Bad things happen in our life, whether it's from our own actions or the universe conspiracies to make you suffer . Some say we can overcome all the obstacles we find on our way to achieve greatness if we believe hard enough that we could . It's not only about how motivated we are but also what strategy and what kind of resources we hold. Both can be from the help of colleagues or our own. Whatever is yours today, was somebody else's yesterday, and will be somebody else's tomorrow.  -Krishna, in Bhagavad Gita      Very wise words from my all time favourite philosopher. It means that we have to be grateful for what we have right now, like everything. Like, say, your clothes you are wearing right now, if it is made out of cotton, it was made by all the worms that worked hard to produce the cotton. Not knowing it will be taken from them just to fulfill humans need. Domestication. Wow this is probably too much for now but yeah you get the point. Say, your job right now, i...

To become a creative person you must be able to connect the dots . What dots? Your knowledge.       Remember The Martian movie? Just like the guy that recommended the ship to move around the earth and get the thrust so that they can go back to mars and meet the guy that was left in mars with using less fuel if they were to take a turn in the middle of the space without earth's gravity. Now IDK if that scenario would be possible in reality because I've never really understood the concept to get the thrust or whatever they were aiming to use to push the ship. If he didn't know about the gravity concept, he wouldn't know something can be done to help the situation and the movie will probably end up with them turning around in the middle of the space. So to be creative you gotta know and understand at least everything that is in line with the subject you are dealing with. In this case physics, aerodynamics, and some other things (don't quote me on this LOL).   ...

When u find some perfect light the only thing that shines so bright to guide ur eyes for a better sight and help u find what IS right so u wanna hold it tight, really tight and don't want it let go from ur side 'cause something would consume it, the night and if the condition says so, then fight! -Surabaya, 20092017.

Bukannya aku tak ingin memadu kasih namun diriku masih menyimpan harapan perih yang dulunya terlihat mudah untuk diraih entahlah, kali ini alam mengisyaratkanku untuk tak menagih masih kuingat saat kumantapkan hatiku untuk dia. Dia, yang selama ini menjadi liquid oxygen dalam tungku semangatku di dada. Membakar apapun agar dengan hebat bergelora. Tanpa salam tanpa ucapan, dia pergi nun jauh tak bertanda. Mari mengandai, andai saja dulunya tak begitu adanya. Mungkin saat ini semua akan berbeda. Tanpa ada benci, amarah, dan nestapa. Menghujat? Rasanya sudah menjadi kebiasaan berkala. Pecundang yang hanya bisa memendam segala rasa. Entahlah, sudah berapa kali saja kuteriakkan dengan lantang bahwa aku masih mencintainya namun tetap saja pintu itu tak mau terbuka, tidak lelah menunggu orang yang sama untuk disambut bila dipikir-pikir, aku ini orang yang telah menyia-nyiakan waktu dengan berkalut "Apakah kau pernah memikirkanku di sini, bahwa hampir setiap harinya aku berdoa sambil ber...

Aku hanyalah seorang keparat yang sedari lahir memang tak berbakat berlapiskan tanpa warna dan hanya pucat maka tak henti dirimu berfirasat pundakku kelu bila sedang beradu beradu dengan sifat yang semaumu hanya dengan berdiam dan membatu maka puaslah seluruh nafsu besarmu aku benci dengan perasaan tak biasa ini seakan sebuah keharusan untuk dimiliki tak mempunyai, tak bebas diri maka itulah gambaranku saat ini berat hati untuk berpindah sasaran terlena dengan sesuatu yang menyegarkan selama kau tetap berteguh dengan dugaan maka selama itu pula jiwa ini berantakan -Tangerang, 27072017.

Just gazin' at the sky it attracted ur soul to fly fly away and never die while the others just passin' by how can u burn somethin' to dust when everythin' u do went bust with nobody u can trust and keeps the world in its lust so sick and tired of the stars u used to gaze 'em at the bars and as u listen to the guitars ur head spinnin' around like pulsars just a moment after that u exhaustedly woke up scared to death 'cause u got no backup wonder if it wasn't only a dream set up u might wanna go rage and blowup -Tangerang, 16062017.

Lama ia mencari-cari apa arti dari kehadirannya rintik hujan menghujam tiada henti hingga tak terasa hari sudah senja banyak hal muncul dan menimbulkan tanya selayaknya manusia berakal, ia mengandai sekian waktu digunakannya hingga air hujan kini meresapi tirai dalam lamunan yang sama terasa sepi memeluknya dengan lembut awan di langit senja kembali menyapa hingga sepi perlahan menyurut tekanan darah dalam tubuh mengalir deras seakan alam mengujinya dengan ganas ingin ia buang rasa itu sepintas hingga ia berontak dengan keras! dalam waktu singkat buyarlah lamunan diikuti cucuran keringat diangkatnya tubuhnya dari kasur bertingkat hingga tubuh tak kuasa bergoyang hebat tak bertuan, tak berarah sesuatu telah menubruknya dengan parah tak ada yang diingat selain genangan darah hingga tak henti ia menghujat dengan marah namun senja kini sudah tak sejajar semua hal di atas mulai memudar sayup-sayup ia mendengar halilintar hingga akhirnya hari sudah fajar -Tangerang, 29052017.

I once was blind blind to everything who cares to me it was when I met a girl, she amazed me. One day I screwed up the situation we had. By we I mean me and her. I couldn't help my feelings to her but, there is something that was struggling, right inside my head. I know that I couldn't let her go at that time, so I decided to take some activities that might be useful for me to forget about her. But every time I'm alone, my fkn brain just keep popping up her image, back when I used to stalk her, or anything else that is related to her. I believe love can do big things but, some people say that you couldn't stay with your lover forever. And some other people say that you just need to keep her on your mind, deep inside your tiny little mind. -Tangerang, 13062016.